The Naughtier Second One

“To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter.” – Euripides

“Balt Van Tassel was an easy indulgent soul; he loved his daughter better even than his pipe, and, like a reasonable man and an excellent father,

Let her have her way in everything.” – Washington Irving, The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow

I last used these quotes in the post of my blog when my elder daughter Jhalak turned one! However much I tried searching, I couldn’t find better words to explain my relationship with my daughters. So that’s that!

2^nd July, 2017- around 1:30 a.m.

Minakshi was talking to me over the phone telling me how she had completed a handcrafted picture. (She was in Surat and I was in Vrindavan to attend her cousin’s marriage on her insistence! Vachan Paalan you see!) She was a little annoyed to as I had not sent her the pictures of Sangeet Sandhya of Aashish & Purnima, wherein I had done the anchoring. Luckily enough, no new rishtas had come for me in the event as I had already been declared Dulhe ka Jijaji on loudspeakers!  That was some solace. All in all, she was quite comfortable as even after being 4 days overdue, there wasn’t much sign that the little one was coming today!

2^nd July, 2017- around 3:30 p.m.

I saw the number of Mummy flashing on my phone. As soon as, I picked the phone, she sounded quite frenetic. I asked her to calm down and to tell me what was happening. She told me that Minakshi had been brought to the hospital today morning and even after lot of attempts, it seemed like the baby wasn’t keen on coming out naturally that day. To cut to the chase, a C-Sec was planned. So after back and forth calls to Surat and Guwahati, the wait began.

2^nd July, 2017 – 4:44 p.m.

Minakshi’s Aunt was on the phone. She told me in a sort of not too keen way, “Lakshmi Ji aa gaya!” (God, i hate this terminology!) But for the 2^nd time in my life, I was on the top of the world! Ever since I had planned on having babies, I always wanted 2 girls. And it couldn’t have been more perfect. THE FAMILY IS COMPLETE!

THE FIRST PICTURE!

I will always have a little regret that I could not be there when she was born but again, I will always use that to win points when I argue with Minkashi as she insisted I go to Vrindavan ;)

I finally got to see her on 3^rd July, 2017. My wedding Anniversary. It was the perfect gift ;)

Her name starting letter was given ‘Ra’ by Dad. After loads of deliberation and vetoes, and with help from ma’am Nistula Hebbar (one of the most wonderful unique name by herself!), her name was kept Ragvi!

As Ragvi turns one, it is a little too evident that she is going to be naughtier than Jhalak! With her own set of nicknames from everyone ranging from Orange to Raado to Raago to Raagu to Raavi Beto to Bhim, she is loved and adored by all!

She doesn’t like that much to sleep with her head on my chest as Jhalku did. But when she does! IT IS BLISS! The death wish remains the same. Both my daughters sleeping peacefully with their heads on my chest J

WITH MY MAA & DADA!

DADA KI RAAVI BETO!

CHHOTA DAADU KI BHIM!

MAA KI RAAGO!

WITH CHHOTU MAA

NAANI KE SAATH MASTI

WITH CHHOTI BHUA MAA

WITH BADI BHUA! (Fufu ko bolo is baar aake pic khinchaye acche se!)

With Jayanti Bhua and Raghav Fufu (Bade Fufu in sidescreen!)

 With Mamu! (Mami ko bolo photo khinchaye!)

With the Craziest Rajju Bhua!

Pulling Mustache of those in power! With Munna Chachu!

With Khushi Bhua!

With the Youngest, Sonu Chachu!

MAATA KA PYAAR!

MOMMA’S GIRL!

FIRST PIC WITH JIJI!

Orange, Chilly, Apple (Lto R)

Orange with Watermelon

Papa’s Daughter!

Music Is In The Blood!

The Daughters!

My Favourite!!

Bohot ho gyo! Ab mhaane laaj aawe hai!

You have to Let Go!

The New Year is here! It arrives with new hopes and aspirations: mores lessons to be learnt, more goals to be achieved and most importantly, more wonderful moments to be cherished. At least this is what I see it like. But no two years are ever the same except if you are Sachin Tendulkar of the 90s with a purpose of scoring hundreds! So as we enter 2016, I would like to share my experience of the greatest life lessons that 2015 taught me.

I lost my two most prized possessions in the year 2015. My Dada and Maa. In most families, the new born is always attached to his or her Mom & Dad more than anyone else. But my first memories of childhood are always with my Dada (grandfather) and Maa (grandmother). My mother says that I had been sleeping in their room ever since I was 2 months old (My little one follows suit by sleeping in her Dada and Maa’s room!). No year ever passed by when I was not taken for a holiday. No wishes remained unfulfilled. 

My Dada 

A young boy wishes for a cricket bat! And shwish! The very next moment it is there in front of him! Add to this the first bicycle, a gazillion tennis balls, books, cold drinks and any possible thing a little boy could think of: and every single time his wish came true! This is what my Dada could do! He was a magician! 

The ever loving grandfather with silver hair, who would have thought he was once the adventurous young man who could travel the whole of India on his own in his 20s, or drive a fiat like a king to attend his college in Jorhat all the way from Sibsagar, and the craziest of them all: who would have the guts to go to a cremation ground and have a drink with the pyre of a friend just because he has promised him that? He lived his life King size and showed us how to.

It is only because of him that I met my ideal life partner. And I cannot describe the happiness in that face when I told him that I was ready for marriage! This can only be matched when I sent him my first salary. 

He looked as handsome in his Final Sleep as he had been in his prime. A Hero! A Lion! I shall always miss him and no one can fill the void he left us with. But this picture with Jhalak is the way I always want to remember him! Content! And truly purely happy!

My Maa 

How many people can boast of being the story teller of a million stories, of being the best cook of the yummiest dishes, of knowing the most complex “Shlokas” with utmost ease and also being the glue that held a whole family together? Yes. That is what my Maa was capable of. 

The quintessential beauty queen, she knew how to make traditional look classy! And she could have easily given today’s younger lot a run for their money. Her ability to have the perfect witty reply to every question is the sole reason why we have inherited some of it! 

She taught us many things, but the most important lesson would be the lesson of love. Pure, unadulterated love! My wife was lucky to have her as her guide. And she is going to miss her much more than me, I know that! And Jhalak will always be reminded how crazily her great grandmother loved her! 

The Lesson 

I always thought that my life would be turned upside down when I lost Dada. And to lose my Maa within just 10 months of Dada’s passing: it was just unbearable! But very slowly I got the lesson. WE HAVE TO LET GO! At least that is the way they would have wanted it. With their passing, the responsibilities have shifted from one generation to the other. It is a circle of life which we cannot get out of. So we have to accept it. We have to make them proud and make sure the teachings they imparted us with never go in vain. 

They are up there, somewhere, looking at us. I am sure they are at peace! :)

The Girl Who Changed Me!

“To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter.” - Euripides

“Balt Van Tassel was an easy indulgent soul; he loved his daughter better even than his pipe, and, like a reasonable man and an excellent father, let her have her way in everything.”  - Washington Irving, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

27^th July, 2013 – 6:30 a.m.

Ready to go to the doctor for Minakshi’s routine check-up. She is having minor pain but nothing alarming. The due date is on 29^th. We reach the hospital and wait for the doctor to arrive. Fifteen minutes later the doctor arrives. He suggests we have a sonography. We agree. Ten minutes later he said there is a good chance our baby is arriving today! The feeling was Wow!! Nervousness, excitement, fear, happiness and some unexplained emotions every to-be-father feels engrossed me!

27^th July, 2013 – Around 5:30 p.m.

The doctor comes and tells me that after what seems like a million saline bottles and unlimited medicines mixed in those, there won’t be a normal delivery. He explains some inexplicable complications. But the bottom line was that it had to be a Caesarean. I was annoyed that my Dad was still in train coming to Dimapur from Guwahati. And he was the only one who had first-hand experience of dealing with doctors. And everyone was going bonkers that it should not be a Caesarean and I was partly blamed for the situation as I was the one who emphasized on regular doctor check-ups. Finally after consultations over phone with Papa and Uncle, it was decided that we’ll go by whatever the doc says. Minakshi is livid on me. She doesn’t want a Caesarean. I try to make her understand but she doesn’t want to. She is crying. And I am helpless. I sign the required papers and then, they start the procedure.

27^th July, 2013 – Around 6:00 p.m.

Minakshi is taken to the operation theatre. In the reception we wait. My Dadi Maa, Aunty, Guddi, Khushboo, Sandeep Bhaiya’s mom, Sandeep Bhaiya and me. The clock just doesn’t seem to move. Time stands frozen. I don’t pray. I don’t bite my nails. I just pace around the room. It seems that the tension point cannot rise beyond this. But there were more heart-stopping and mind-numbing moments to come. At around 6:34 p.m. two nurses accompanied by the fat anesthesia guy (I still don’t know his name and my daughter should like this mysterious name ;)) come out from the operation theatre carrying a basket. There is something inside the basket wrapped in a pink blanket. We are not able to see clearly and he dashes in another room. My heart stops as there is no sound anywhere. Neither from the operation theatre nor the other room. I stand turning my head from one side to another. And then comes the climax of this magic day.

The fat anesthesia guys comes out of the room. He says, “Arre mota aase na maaiki itu bi saa naay”(Arre, I didn’t even see whether it’s a boy or a girl.) He pokes his head through the curtain again and asks the nurse, brings back his head in our room and speaks to me, “Maaiki (GIRL!)”. I don’t know how to react. I hug the fat anesthesia guy tightly. “Thank you. Thank you very much.”

All around the room the celebrations have started. Everything is blurred; but in the best way possible. I first ask the doctor whether Minakshi is ok. He says yes. And the happiness just seems to increase manifold.  I remember making the first call to Jayanti as I had promised her she would be the first one to know. And the rest of it was mania, which is very hard to recall.

Her First Pic!!!

 

PICS IN THE HOSPITAL!!!

I don’t remember the exact time when my daughter was handed over to me. But one thing was sure. Nothing, and I mean nothing at all, had given me the happiness that I felt when I held her in my hands. Against all the predictions of astrologers, fake pundits, and so-called experts who know the gender of the child looking at the face of the pregnant mother (only one of my saalis had predicted otherwise), it had to be a girl. It had to be my girl. What magic it was to hold her in my hands. Her chubby cheeks, her big beautiful eyes wide open. Ahh. It just cannot be described. I thanked Minakshi for giving me the most beautiful gift of my life. Saline bottles were connected to her. But there was only happiness in her eyes. The greatest magical experience of human life was complete.

If I start mentioning the reactions of each and every family member on their first reaction on meeting Jhalak (My Dad had told us that her name had to start with “Jha” going by her birth time 6:29 p.m. and Panditji concurred with that and Guddi gave her the name Jhalak), this space would be very less. But the fact of the matter is that I have not seen any of my family members as happy as this ever before. Period.

And today when she turns one, she has changed the very meaning of life for her father. The person used to run from taking baths (17 days on the trot being a record ;)), has turned Monica-clean and hygienic nutcase. (Only when it comes to her case though :P)! The person who can move out at 2 a.m. at night to help a friend even after marriage, (Anshul can concur and thanks Minakshi for never stopping me!) has turned a more homely man than ever. Every single decision of my life is connected to her it seems. And I do get the nightmares thinking what if I become one of those possessively possessive dad! But again, who the hell cares for the future when the present is just so beautiful. Whatever be the problems, one smile from Bittu (host of other nicknames!) and it feels as if nothing matters. LIFE IS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL.

And the constant chatter that goes around the house when she is awake is the thing to look forward to every single day. From Dada’s Chhoniyo Moniyo, to Maa’s Jhalak Malak, to Papa’s Babudiyo, to Mummy’s Lado, to Uncle’s Bebo, to Aunty’s Jhalku, and to Bittu, Baccha and Chilly (this name because the first time she kicked was when Minakshi had Chilli Paneer and Pasta made by Jayanti: it was suggested by Mom that if it’s a boy he would be nicknamed Pasta and if it’s a girl she would be nicknamed Chilli. Another reason I was happy it wasn’t a boy :P) to her Naani, Nikhilji, Guddi, Jayanti, Rajju, Munna, Khushboo, Sonu, Divyesh, Minakshi and I, the names for my love are never-ending! But whatever the name, as I said before, nothing seems to have made the people in my family happier before. Period.

BITTU & I

And as for this nutcase possessively possessive father, I have like a gazillion pictures of me with Bittu sleeping on me with her head on my chest. Nothing in the world is half as good as these moments. If I would be offered a last wish, this is exactly the way I wanna die!!

Happy First Birthday My Baby! J J

With Guddi Bhua

With Kaa Dadu

With Bada Dada-Dadi

With Jayanti Bhua

With Munna Ka

With Sonu Kaa

With Raju Nana

With Naani

With Mamu

With Rajju Bhua

With Fufu

With Khushi Bhua 

Bittu's Footprints

Papa, Mummy & Bittu

Oh My God!! Ab bas bhi karo Papa!!! ;)